How to Teach Empathy to Kids

Being a parent involves a lot of teaching. To make sure our children succeed in life, we need to teach them how the world works. An important part of this is knowing how to interact with others in a variety of environments and circumstances. As such, one of the most important things a parent can do for their kids is teach them empathy.

To successfully teach empathy, however, you must understand what it is yourself. You'll also need to understand the best strategies for teaching your children empathy. To help, we've put together some information to prepare you for these important lessons you'll be teaching your children.

What Is Empathy and Why Is It Important?

Empathy is the ability to understand another person's feelings and perspective, even if you don’t agree or can’t relate. Learning empathy is very important for emotionally connecting with others and building genuine social relationships. Having a well-developed sense of empathy can help children understand how to better respond to others' feelings.

Children with strong empathy often demonstrate greater compassion and kindness. These qualities can make them more successful in their daily lives as they grow up. And a person with a solid sense of empathy is often better at understanding their own feelings, too! This means your children will be better at recognizing and managing their emotions.

Therefore, you should take the time to help your children develop empathy for others. And if you're wondering how to do that, don't worry! We'll go over some strategies for teaching kids empathy that should help.

How to Teach Empathy to Kids at Any Age: 4 Simple Strategies

As a parent, it can be difficult to know where to start when teaching your children empathy. Luckily, there are many tried-and-true methods you can use. Some of these techniques work best at certain stages of your child's development.

But there are also four strategies that are effective at any age. Modeling empathy, discussing emotions, encouraging helpful behavior, and praising empathetic behavior are all great ways to help your children's emotional growth.

Model Empathy

Sometimes, the most effective way to teach empathy to your children is to demonstrate it yourself. Children learn a lot by watching the adults in their lives. Because of this, it's important that you model empathy in your own daily life. Showing kindness and understanding towards others encourages children to emulate your behavior.

You should also remember to model empathy in interactions with others and when speaking with your kids. And this includes situations when you're happy as well as when you're angry or sad. Even if you're upset or enforcing discipline, showing empathy is important. Displaying empathetic behavior even during emotional situations helps teach your children to do the same.

Discuss Emotions

Another way you can help your children build empathy is to talk about different emotions and how they affect us. Talking about emotions can help your kids identify feelings and process them in a constructive way. This helps your child understand their own emotions better when they're upset. It's also great for helping them understand how other kids might feel in the same situation.

Help at Home and in the Community

One of the best ways to help children learn empathy is to get them helping. Start small, at home. Encourage your children to help out around the house with simple tasks. Ask them to help set the dinner table or sort laundry, and always be sure to thank them for their assistance. Be sure to keep things fun, so they see it as an opportunity to help their family members rather than a chore.

Helping out in the community can give your children a chance to expand their horizons and further develop their social skills. Going out in the world and meeting different types of people helps kids learn other perspectives. Getting to know people from other walks of life will teach them to be compassionate and understanding.

Praise Empathetic Behavior

Another important technique for teaching empathy to your kids is positive reinforcement. When your child demonstrates kindness, take the time to praise them. And be sure to be specific! When your child does something kind or helpful, thank them for it and explain why you appreciate it. By thanking your child, you're encouraging them to exhibit more of that good behavior in the future. And by explaining why you're grateful, you can help them understand the positive impact of their kindness.

Age-Specific Strategies to Teach Empathy to Kids

Now that we've talked about some techniques that work at any age, let's go over some age-specific strategies. By utilizing these techniques, you can help boost your child's social-emotional learning.

3-5 Years

Describe and Label

At this age, one of the most helpful things you can do is help teach your kids to identify their feelings. When they're exhibiting strong emotions like anger or sadness, point it out to them. Gently talk about the body language they're displaying and be willing to talk about their emotions.

Read Stories

Reading together with your children is important for more than just teaching them how to spell and pronounce words. By reading and discussing the stories and characters, you can help your children further develop empathy. Even simple conversations can help your kids think about other perspectives.

Ask questions like "how do you think the main character feels about that?" and "how would you feel in their shoes?" to get the ball rolling. Books such as The Tuttle Toddlers 123s of Helping can also help. Books like these encourage even young children to relate to others and work together.

Make a "We Care Center”

If you've never heard of a "We Care Center" before, you're not alone! But making one of these can really help teach your kids compassion. To do this, all you really need to do is assemble a little kit with some simple items. The specifics are up to you, but things like Band-Aids and tissues are a common choice, as are stuffed animals. The point of this is to give your young children tools they can use to express concern and kindness to others.

Young kids may not be able to verbalize themselves well when trying to help, but having items they can offer makes it easier. For example, if your child's best friend isn't happy, their "We Care Center" can give them the tools to help. By giving their friend something from their kit, your child's actions can have a positive impact by cheering them up.

Coach Social Skills in the Moment

When your child does something unthinking or unkind, don't simply punish them. Be patient and turn it into a teaching moment. For example, if your child's actions make a friend or sibling cry, help them understand the situation. Ask questions like "why do you think they're crying?" and "how would you feel if someone did that to you?".

By asking these questions, you're encouraging your child to consider how another person feels. This also helps them to recognize the impact of their own actions on someone else. And if your child's actions were inappropriate, this can be a good time to coach them on better behavior.

5-7 Years

Play Emotion Charades

Believe it or not, playing charades can be a great way for kids to learn about different emotions and how they're expressed. To play Emotion Charades, take turns playacting different emotions and having the other players guess what the feelings are. Games like these can also lead to productive conversations about how to express emotions in a healthy way.

Use Pictures

Visual learning is also a great way to help children develop empathy. Using drawings and pictures can be especially helpful if your children struggle to put emotions into words. Cut out different pictures from magazines or print them off your computer.

Choose pictures showing a range of emotions. Have images for sad and happy, but also ones for embarrassed and excited. Showing your children the different facial expressions that go along with different emotions can be extremely helpful. Being able to identify different emotions in someone else is an important part of empathetic behavior.

Embrace Diversity

Respecting the feelings and opinions of other people, no matter their background, is a big part of empathy. As such, it's important to teach your children to be welcoming to those of different races, genders, and ability levels. Being able to treat others kindly, regardless of different beliefs, is also an important part of empathy. Have your children play games with other children from different backgrounds to encourage them to embrace diversity in their peers.

Observe Others

People-watching can be a lot of fun and also help you teach your child about nonverbal cues. Doing this can help your children learn how to read body language and interpret the emotions of other people.

Teach Healthy Limits and Boundaries

In addition to teaching empathy, it's also vital to teach your children the importance of boundaries. Setting healthy boundaries and respecting the boundaries of others is an important part of social interaction. Heightened empathy doesn't mean putting up with uncomfortable situations for the sake of others. Make sure your children are comfortable with setting boundaries and sticking to them.

It's also important to teach your kids that while empathy is important, they don't necessarily need to shoulder every burden themselves. Make sure they understand that they need to take care of their own needs, too. And check that they understand that they can always ask for help. Go over hypothetical situations to help them understand when to ask for adult assistance.

7-9 Years

Engage in High-Level Discussions About Book Characters

Once your children get older, having thoughtful and engaging conversations about the books they're reading can help them continue to grow. Some book series, like the Tuttle Twins, are great choices for being both educational and thought-provoking. These stories can help teach your children valuable lessons that will help them succeed in life. By discussing the characters and themes, you can encourage your children to develop greater emotional awareness.

And for kids who prefer a more visual medium, there are graphic novels they can read instead! Adapted from the popular Tuttle Twins animated series, these graphic novels are just as educational as the show. And the visual medium can help give you even more to talk about when it comes to empathy and emotions. You can ask questions about the expressions on characters' faces and see how your children interpret them. This type of back-and-forth can help kids think more deeply about emotions and how to express them.

Loving-Kindness and Compassion Meditation

Loving-kindness meditations involve thinking about other people and sending positive feelings their way. Teaching this activity to your kids can help them develop greater compassion for others. Begin by having your kids direct positive feelings to loved ones, like friends and family members. And over time, encourage them to expand this care to others as well.

Engage in Cooperative Board Games or Cooperative Construction

Being able to work together with others is crucial for succeeding in life. As such, it's important that we teach our children how to collaborate on projects and form strong bonds. Collaborative experiences are important for developing social skills. When children have to work together on something, it teaches them how to communicate and understand the perspectives of others.

The collaborative projects don't have to be huge or intimidating. You can have your children do something as simple as build a castle out of Lego or solve a jigsaw puzzle together. The teamwork is the important component to the activity, since this is what will help increase empathy.

9-11 Years

Sign Up for Acting Classes

If your children are amenable to it, consider getting them involved in theater. Acting can be fun for them, and it helps enhance empathy because it involves understanding the motivations and emotions of the character you're portraying. Because of this, acting can help increase a child's understanding of different feelings.

Create Empathy Maps

Empathy maps are a great tool for helping your children determine the appropriate response in an emotional situation. To make an empathy map, all you need to do is pick an emotion and then brainstorm how it might make a person behave. For example, have your child list what they might think or say when they're angry.

You can then review the list with them and discuss which reactions are healthy and which could be improved. Even when correcting them, though, be sure to be patient and understanding. You, too, must exhibit empathy. When coaching them, we also recommend explaining that a person's actions may not always match their true feelings.

Ages 12+

Discuss Current Events

While it can be tempting to shield your children from current events, discussing them candidly can actually help with their empathy. Watch the news together or read some newspaper articles and discuss the events mentioned. Ask your children about how they feel about what they've read, or how they'd feel in a similar situation. Asking these sorts of questions builds empathy while also encouraging them to think about the world around them.

Encourage Your Child to Choose Volunteer Work

If your children ever express an interest in community service, it's important for you as a parent to encourage them in pursuing it. Helping out in the community will build their empathy, and it can encourage a sense of social responsibility.

Walk the Line

This exercise, inspired by the movie Freedom Writers, is good for helping children understand common ground. To do it, all you need is a group of kids and a line of tape on the ground. Split the kids into two groups, and have each group stand on one side of the line. Then, read a series of statements. Whenever a statement is true for one of the kids, they step up to the line. This exercise can help illustrate the commonalities found between people of different backgrounds.

Frequently Asked Questions

What Is an Example of Empathy for Kids?

To truly understand empathy, kids sometimes need to see good examples of how it looks in action. An example of empathy can include seeing someone calm down a friend who is upset. Another example could be seeing an adult comfort someone who's feeling sad. It's important to model empathy and serve as a role model for your children to teach them empathy.

What Causes a Lack of Empathy in Kids?

There are many factors that can cause a lack of empathy in children. One of the most common reasons for stunted empathy is not having empathy modeled for them growing up. Children struggle if they don't have good role models. Without examples of empathetic behavior, they won't be able to develop their own sense of empathy.

Certain conditions can also cause children to struggle with understanding and regulating their emotions. While this doesn't mean that these children have limited empathy, it can sometimes result in them having difficulty expressing themselves. In circumstances like these, you need to remember to show the same empathy you're trying to teach them. Be patient and understanding, and always be willing to adjust your approach.

What Are the Four Rules of Empathy?

There are no hard-and-fast rules for empathy, but there are four pieces of advice that are fairly universal. Most people agree that the first rule is "embrace not knowing". The meaning behind this advice is simple: don't assume you know another person's feelings. Instead of jumping to conclusions, be willing to listen when others talk about their feelings.

The second rule is self-explanatory: never tell someone else how to feel. The most commonly held third rule is to be willing to dedicate yourself to kindness. Empathy isn't always easy; you'll need to put in the work when necessary. And finally, the fourth rule is to embrace the sense of community that empathy brings. Showing empathy involves connecting with others, and we get strength from these social connections.

Can Empathy Be Learned?

Yes, empathy absolutely can be learned! In fact, children learn empathy as they grow up, and as a parent, it's your job to help teach them. Modeling empathy is a great way to demonstrate this valuable skill for your children. Talking to them about their emotions can also help increase their emotional awareness.

Conclusion

As you can see, empathy is one of the most important qualities a parent can teach their children. A person's ability to empathize with others directly impacts their social relationships. This, in turn, can affect their personal and professional lives.

Thankfully, there are many tools and techniques that can help you with your child's social-emotional learning! We hope you've found the ones we discussed in this article helpful.